Toots- I can't explain how or exactly when I started to get there. I would get so frustrated reading other's posts about how detached they were in such a shorter time than me. I will say the following may have helped me...
* I finally accepted that WAW makes her own decisions and that was for her to live with. This was big for me as I've always felt the need to 'save' W. Anytime I felt myself going there, I had to tell myself 'nope, not your problem.'
* I continue to GAL, even after 1 1/2 yrs of S
* I accepted the fact that our M is dead. Any new R with WAW means I would have to accept her as the person she is today
* I stopped trying to 'win' or talk W back into the M
* Try to limit the time spent on these boards. As much as I appreciate all the feedback and enjoy helping others, taking a break can help get your mind off your sitch
* Time. My sitch has been such a roller coaster of W and I arguing, trying to be friends, MC, finding out new information... I always felt drawn back in whenever I felt like I was in a good place. Focusing on the above bullet points have made the past 3 mos pretty consistent for me.
Don't get me wrong- I still have moments of anger/frustration from time to time (certain triggers), but now they last for seconds as opposed to consuming days.
