The "major" driver of MLC is depression, as well as childhood issues. There was a book that I read about depression many years ago that stated that depression is about the past and anxiety is about the future.
I am having trouble figuring out what the childhood issues are because there doesn't seem to be any major trauma... If anything, could just be related to having a very controlling mother... But the signs of depression are just so very clear.
Originally Posted By: job
You are very wise not to advise her that she's depressed. She will blow it off and say she isn't. She knows that something is wrong but will not appreciate anyone telling her what it is. As for her cold, her immune system has been compromised by the stressors. You will begin to notice that she's ill more, i.e., colds stomach bugs, aches and pains. They all have some of these going on. Some even develop blood pressure and other series issues during the crisis. Unfortunately, they are the ones that have to figure this all out by their lonesome.
I didn't think about the immune system factor. Throughout all of this (knock on wood) I've actually stayed very well which surprises me considering how much stress this has caused my physically. She's also remained illness-free until this week. And yes, unfortunate that they have to figure this out on their own when they are surrounded by so many people who love and care about them who can easily see all of the symptoms.
Originally Posted By: job
Keep the focus on you, your life and the family.
Definitely trying to do that... Going out with some friends on Friday night and looking forward to my job interview next week. Just mailed off retainer agreement and check to my lawyer, so now that part is much more real... Real but necessary.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
