I guess I should count myself lucky he doesn't spew, I just feel like I have absolutely no idea what is going on in his head. He never complains, he never tells me how I hurt him, he never talks about a future together or apart. He just doesn't say anything about the future beyond next week. Nothing.
Susana, my H is a lot like this. I have no idea what he's thinking. But I'm grateful he's being a decent guy, good dad, financially responsible. That goes a long way.
Rppfl - yes, my H too is being a decent guy and overall very nice to me, I guess it's what keeps me DBing. I don't know I could find the inner strength if he were spewing and being a jerk to me all the time.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
The caramel latte made a big difference, and my colleague got me a wrap for lunch which was great and nice of her. Feeling a little more upbeat now. Trying to keep my PMA up!
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Bit of potential tricky situation tomorrow. H is heading off on a snowboarding holiday in the morning. My friend B (who I went to visit last week) and I are working on a creative project together and he's coming over tomorrow to work on it. B told me in no uncertain terms he doesn't want to see H, he's mad about the way H has treated me and might not control his mouth. I told him to come after H leaves, but H wasn't 100% sure of when he'll leave so there's a possibility they might bump into each other.
To complicate things further, my GFs are convinced that H is jealous of B and me. When I told H that B would be coming tomorrow, he didn't really say anything, he just went silent. H has never been a jealous type. But I wouldn't be surprised if he did get jealous of B. B is very good looking (case in point: a mutual friend invited him to her birthday and told me afterwards all her GFs said "who is that B? how do you know him? And is he a model?"). And B fairly obviously had a thing for me, some time ago, before H and I were together.
Now, I know I shouldn't (nor do I want to) feel responsible for their actions, but I am a little worried if they end up in the house at the same time B will have a go at H. Is there anything to do to diffuse the situation? Or should I just let it run its course if it's going to? I'm assuming the latter because when in doubt, do nothing?
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
I personally wouldn't bring that kind of dynamic to the house, especially if it might make your H uncomfortable and your friend would "not control his mouth."
The way I look at it is this: I would never bring a situation into my home that would cause any embarrassment, hurt feelings, negativity, or situations that could be harmful to my relationship.
Case in point -- I have a good friend who I went to both HS and College with that I dated on and off (nothing serious) but there was always chemistry there. Once things became serious with my H, I didn't put myself in a situation that could be misconstrued in anyway. Good friend came over a few times before my wedding -- to go running with me while I was out of work and H was at work. I always met him on the front porch -- never had him inside. When he came back from the Army, I met him in a public place and had drinks. At no point in time did my H ever had a problem with this (and he knew this history between us), but I avoided situations like the plague.
Me personally, I wouldn't have B over, because a)B has mentioned he can control his mouth and honestly, no one needs to be getting into the middle of your sitch, b)having him come over after H leaves looks like (imo) that you're hiding something from him. C) if B has had a thing for you before, who is to say he won't try and take advantage of the situation and D) it's just a bad idea.
Could ya'll not meet in a coffee shop or public place to avoid a sticky situation? That's just me.
M:32,H 32 T:10, M5 BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15 Served D Papers: 10/15 Divorced: 11/15
It sounds like there's potential for some problems with the plan. Could you:
a) meet him somewhere else public? (best option IMHO) b) let him come to the house, but let him know it won't help your sitch if he's in any way funny with H.. c) send him up to me instead
Last edited by Toots; 03/04/1504:50 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
thanks burger.
Me, I'm more of a gin & tonic kinda gal.
