Part 15 - a blue edz rising

[edz]

Well got through s's work sheets, made him some soup today for lunch as we're trying to keep his bread consumption down a little now he's having some computer time.

Have to say I'm still feeling really unsettled today which is really unusual when s is here maybe its because Im also working. I dont understand it though, would have thought if anything id be having problems keeping a handle on thinking things are going well and having expectations that could lead to trouble down the road.

Thats not the case. Possibly since theres been no mention of "thing" and I dont know if w just wants to wait to try to keep me as a friend, she certainly hasnt said she wants to reconcile in so many words but she equally was very happy i'm not dating theres also the whol going out to dinner conversation.

Arghh too many thoughts in my head all competing for space. I know relax, its troubling since theres no real "action" to take, going dim wouldnt help my mind racing and seems the wrong reaction given where we are and also that im not pursuing right now and emails / texts seem to be balancing following the weekend.

Pursuing further seems an equally bad idea.

Im not afraid of starting with Dinner or worried about it either (maybe what w will want to tell me I suppose).

So holding fast and trying to just relax more seems a good idea. No GAL tonight since S is here until 7 or 8 but tomorrow Im in the office then swimming and then seeing if the gym is packed out, Friday is also swimming since I didnt get to go on Sunday.

The weekend is a bit of an unknown as yet.

Discombobulated right now!