I don't know why I couldn't really settle. Happens a lot these days, I think it's almost like a habbit I'm in.

Seems the harder we push put to the universe the harder it pushes back at times. New tyres, split the side on one last night. The car drama will be sorted out properly at next service, but atm they have done a large hammer repair. grinlol

Just ran hard today and with tyre drama, didn't make it to work on time so lost an hour.
In the upside car will be in shop Friday, so will chase up other work for that time.

Like gb said or was it mighty it feels like wet mud just clinging and holding you down.

Work was cool, testcile dude came in, was joking round. Nice bloke, now he seems to have gotten his humor back. I was choice to serve him wink his choice.
He seems geinine nice, not hurting his case that he's been work besties bestie for 30years. If that makes sense.

Bin working the crowd a lot too, gives me energy, but come end of the day I'm emotionally stuffed. I still have to push down those feelings of fear when talking to total strangers.

I'm getting better at spotting people's reactions often being able to smooth things over more easily. Which is helping.

Days like today to come home and vent a little would be nice, but I wasn't allowed to do that with h, So I'm not sure why I even miss h at all.

Sigh so I'm just as mixed up at times as ever really.

M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26