Hi - the panic when we see their name, hear their voice is due in part to the scale of the emotional abuse. It does fade, but you might want to try some specific short term therapy if it doesn't
It will take a while, but at some point you will realise that you are MUCH better off without this man and all of his baggage. Doesn't mean you made a mistake, or that you will necessarily cease to love him, but that they couldn't/wouldn't grow and you can and will.
If he can leave you alone for a few weeks or months you will heal faster. Weirdly when they do finally leave us alone we illogically can feel rejected all over again. But actually they are doing us a favour here!
Everything you are experiencing emotionally is normal and on track, and your courage and honesty ensures you will keep moving forward
