still moving on

[Ahoy]

I definitely let my hurt and anger out on these boards, and in phone conversations with friends. I'm stoic about letting go of H because I truly don't want to be involved with that damaged bit of goods, but it's hard to understand how he can be so clueless about how our D14 might feel. But he's always been kind of wrapped up in his own head, very narcissistic (loves to hear himself talk), and lacking in empathy (no close friends), so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. What surprises me is how I couldn't have seen this coming, how I was so blind to these issues.
I was just reading up on Kim Gordon/Thurston Moore Sonic Youth breakup, and she just came to a point where she realized he was truly a "lost soul." That is the EXACT way I described my H when he was telling me about his affair -- to him telling me he didn't know who he was anymore, couldn't believe he was "that guy" (who would break up his family this way, etc. He sees the problem, but can't or won't fix it. He has to pursue the affair.

I don't want that in my life. But my daughter has to keep him in her life, since he's her dad. The whole thing is hardest on her.