Devotion To A Dream

[phunguy]

About to head into IC. My son has acted out at school in an amazingly horrible fashion, W has blamed everything on me. Telling me I ruined her son, our marriage, everything. It seems there isn't anything that isn't unravelling, so difficult. I told her I'm not the only one to blame, I didn't want to fight with her and she could try to shift all the blame she wants to me but she's far from innocent in all of this. The guilt is eating me up again and I thought I've dealt with it a few weeks ago. I've moved beyond this self loathing stuff but here I am again. Doubting myself, hating myself, questioning everything, wondering what I've done to deserve all of this. I was finally starting the to regain some confidence and have control over my emotions and I'm sucked right back into it. This emotional place is the pits. I cannot dwell in this chaos and misery. I have to keep moving forward some how, some way. I pray for guidance, peace, and wisdom sometimes minute by minute.