You are so wise to stay focused on re-building an emotional connection with W and keeping the pressure off sexually. At the same time - wow - it occurs to me that you really deserve a big pat on the back for your strength and dedication to your W and M. How fortunate your W is to have a H willing to go without HIS needs being met for the greater good of the M!
Good on you, Rzr. I have to believe it's only a matter of time before W sees for herself that she has quite the catch. And she's had him right there with her all along.
As for feeling like you two are sweeping things under the rug when you don't talk about the R vs. being high-stress when you DO speak about it? Oh, man. Can I ever empathize!! I/We had the SAME dilemma in the first several months after H came home. I won't harp on it because it seems you're already seeing your own solution. And it sounds like W might see it, too.
Nothing more to add to all the great perspectives you're getting. Just wanted to pop by and say: Kudos to you! Keep rollin'!!
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
