One thing I would suggest too is an anger management course. There are a few things you have said that make me think she may be fearful of her safety, the broken tea kettle, her flinching when you reached for her, the way she talks to you on the phone (strongly) then in person (passively). I think she is scared of you.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
