Yes - I am torn on the issue with the family member... On one hand I do feel bad about it, but on the other hand... Well, everything that has happened up to this point is all because of the choices that my W made.
You know, if she badgers you about it again, I would just say something like "It's not my responsibility to keep your secrets for you".
And if she bemoans the effect of the fallout on her, you could say "Choices have consequences. You've made choices that hurt me and the kids; I'm sorry that those choices are also hurting you."
