Interesting - I'm re-reading DR at the moment, and have just read chapter 4 - Ask for what you want. Your comments made me think of that.

If your W was a DBing pro, she would have said - I'd like us to dress up and go out for dinner once every couple of weeks. And I would like you to buy me flowers on occasions like birthdays. Plus, I would like you to tell me you love me...not every day, or even every week, but often enough to keep romance alive and so that I don't feel taken for granted.

"She would say she wanted wooing but I don't come from a 'wooing/romantic' family"

So, knowing that she did want this, what efforts did you make? It sounds a bit like an excuse to say you didn't come from that kind of family....

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus