You skipped months between your last post and today's post- time that could have been used to get valuable information to save your marriage. Try not to go dark like that again.
Your wife is having an affair. When she says that she loves you but is not "in love" with you it is because she's in an affair. When she says that she is confused, it is because she is in an affair. And when she asked to separate to sort through her feelings, it was really to get you out of her hair to continue, you guessed it, her affair. A little detective work on your part will expose the truth. Don't bother asking her- all waywards lie, lie, lie. She'll accuse YOU of being paranoid and crazy!
While the affair is ongoing, don't expect anything between you and your wife to improve. Try to be upbeat and friendly during your interactions, but expect nothing. Once the affair has run its course, you'll be in the right position to get her back.
In the meantime.....
You need to address your wife's complaints about you. Your wife likely lost respect for you because you didn't work (yeah, yeah, I get that being a father is work, but you can't escape biology- women want a man that can take care of them and provide) and even as a stay at home dad you did a poor job (by your own admission). Having lost her respect for you, she became open for the attention from other men. If I were you I would work in earnest to get a full time job that pays a respectable wage. I'd show the world that I could provide for my family and get things done. If you want your wife back, you'll need her respect.
