Thank you Mozza, I have read DR (going on 3rd time now). I just wasn't sure if the NC or 180 are still applicable in this case.
Why do you say "still"?
In any case, the no-gift rule couldn't be clearer, so the recommendation seems to be to let the kids prepare something, no more. And no, don't invite her to your outings. According to sandi2, WAW have to face the full consequences of their choices as soon as possible. And anyway, why ruin your evening and create more opportunities for awkwardness -- honestly, why were you even suggesting it?
I think I was even thinking it, because I am a very compassionate person and the last thing I want to see is someone I love hurting.
But the reality of it is that she has already hurt me with little regard to my feelings, so yes, not seeing her is the best policy. Thank you.
Originally Posted By: Mozza
Originally Posted By: EyeTie
One other question I have, even though she left me, she acts as though I am the one who hurt her and left her. She has nothing but anger and resentment towards me. Is this normal?
Yes, it's classic. Continue to read around these boards and you'll find many examples of this. I don't know exactly why that is, but it might be a way to deflect responsibility. Another potential reason is that she has plenty of reasons to resent you and that she never meant to separate, but you pushed her to it. Looking at your initial message, you seem to blow up fairly often. Are you working on this and if so, how? (other than "making an effort")
How long would you expect that it will take for your W to come back to the M? What will have to happen before then?
I meet with a Crisis Counselor 2-3 times a week, he actually also does marriage counseling as well. So we have been discussing my relationship with my W. The biggest reason I have kind of been crabby towards her before she left is because of the cancer secret and the pain that the drugs were putting me under. I was short with her at times, mostly because I needed her so bad and she was so distant.
I am not sure if she will ever come back. And the more I GAL the less I want her back.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
