This need not be the end.

[Barry]

Thank you all for putting things in perspective.

We took my D16 to the musical Wicked last night. WAW went too.
I wish she hadn't have made me the offer, it was so difficult to sit there trying to make sure D had a good time and be upbeat when I know WAW just wants out. You're all right that we've had a good life together and we have four great kids who we both love to pieces and they love us in equal measure. I AM thankful for the years we've spent together, she HAS been a good wife to me for the most part, she's never cheated on me, and she's not now. I'm just so sad and any hope I had has been crushed by the offer. It felt like BD day again.

I don't consider the marriage a failure, but I feel like one for not being able to stop the breakdown of it. For not seeing all of this sooner and knowing what I know now. I've been a man only a fool WOULDN'T leave.
As I've read..hindsight is 20/20.

When we got home, I asked my D16 to give me and WAW wife a few minutes so she went on in whilst we sat in the car. I asked WAW if this is really what she wants. She didn't answer. I told her that she's such a big part of my life, of all I am, of all I stand for and all I ever wanted. I said if she wanted money, I'll give it to her, I'd give her everything including the clothes off my back to stay.

Trust me, I know how un DBlike that was, and how "old Barry" that is. I was so upset, I'd been holding it in all night. She said its not about the money. She wanted to go, so I just said...I'm asking you one last time WAW...please don't do this to us.

Again, she didn't answer and said she will text me today. I already know what it's going to say but I had to ask before I set into motion a chain of events that's going to drive us apart, at least for now.

I need to get this out there...I hate this. This is her choice, her doing even if not all the events leading to it. Now it's me that has to decide to set her free. I guess we all have to do that at some point in our sitch's.

I took the day off work yesterday and I'm off today too. I've been to find out about what child benefit and tax credits I may be entitled to and ive made an appointment to see a lawyer today. I've been in touch with my financial advisor as well regarding raising the money. If she really means to go through with this, I need to act fairly quickly before people tell her she's nuts for letting me have the house for so little.

I personally think the figure she's said is partly out of guilt. She'll always be able to say "yeah well, he did well for himself as far as the house goes". In a years time, that money will be long gone and I can do a lot to the house in a year. How I feel about all this is going to change many times over that time too, but ultimately, the best Barry needs to win through.

Maybe your'e right, maybe what she's telling me about not wanting any R is true, maybe she won't meet anyone. Maybe I will, we don't know. Maybe at some point she'll see me differently. There's a lot of maybe's there I know, it's because I'm so scared of the future, my future now without WAW.