Moved too fast? Now what?

[sandi2]

Hi Bing. First, let me tell you that your M has a chance of surviving this terrible ordeal. A lot will depend on the kind of mental attitude you have. You like to be in control? Learn to control yourself, and you won't have much time to control anything else.

So, before you turned into mush, what kind of man were you?

Things seemed to get a little better in terms of my wife's state of mind. She talked about wanting to work on things at one point (not truly committed though). We were on friendly talking terms, even laughing and joking at times.

This is what usually confuses the H, and he wants to see it as making a little progress.......only nothing seems to be moving. That's b/c she puts this sticy-tacky on the H (more commonly known as BS) to keep him stuck while she continues doing what wayward W's do.

There are a lot of hard, cold facts about WW's that you need to learn, but it will take more than one post. Perhaps you can start with these:

* Telling her you've made an appointment with a DB coach will not snap her out of this.
*. She is not logical, and you can't deal with her as if she were.
*. She is untrustworthy, and when you forget that fact, you will pay the price.
*. She will not desire you and will not work on the M as long as she has OM in her head.
*. She cannot love you until she can respect you.
*. She will not desire you until she is attracted to you.
*. She is confused about what she feels. It's not love, it is addiction to the thrill of the A.
*. You cannot control her.