Moved too fast? Now what?

[Bing]

Good advice all around. Thanks Cadet, Starsky and Toots.

Regarding tactic vs. boundary, Starsky, that's a really good question. I've reflected on that quite a bit. Honestly I think it's both. Yes, I wish there was a magic cure for this and a part of me hoped taking the next step would turn things around. But I also refuse to be a willing partner in an open marriage. That is a very real boundary for me.

So you're right, there was nothing to lose, given my personal integrity. I cannot allow my boundaries to be steamrolled. That's now a part of my GAL and detachment. I still have no desire to divorce and I want to keep my family together more than anything. But simply waiting for that to happen seemed counter to GAL and detachment.

So mediation consultation is scheduled for next Thursday. I prepared myself all afternoon for what to say when my wife questioned this sudden decision. Something about family/marriage being important but impossible without boundaries. Instead she hasn't said anything about it. A little small talk, nothing unpleasant, but to my great surprise, not one peep about my decision. I can tell something is on her mind, but she will not share it with me.

I'll continue to update. And please post if you have anything to add or any advice on how to handle the situation from here. It's nice to be heard and helped