1. I think maybe I mentioned this to you before, but have a look at Al Turtle's iceberg theory if you haven't yet. Basically, it's that "everyone makes sense all of the time". The idea is that other people ALWAYS act logically. It just may seem illogical to us because we don't know everything that's going on in their heads, their history, etc. So, in my interpretation: our way isn't "better". They are doing exactly what they should be. There's no point in us telling them what to do, because we don't have all the information, only they do. There will always be a part of them unknown to us. And without knowing it, how can we presume to know what's best for them?
I don't always succeed but this is my new theory I try to hold in my head when interacting with H (and others). It's helping me a lot.
2. I like V's suggestion. What if you got a notebook and wrote down 1 thing you admire every day for the next week? Kind of like a gratitude journal. An admiration journal. might make it more concrete.
4. How else can I show him I recognize that I support him and give him space and 'being interested in him' (something he claimed I wasn't) at the same time? Have you asked him how he wants to be supported in this journey? What did he say?
I think a big part will be mastering goal no. 1. Not seeing through the lens of your values. Let him navigate this himself.
I think the big question here is: Are you genuinely interested? If so, find a way to express it (e.g. active listening). If not - this is somewhere to dig deep and figure out why.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
