Ganb8te 5 - Escaping the abyss

[Zelda09]

Gan,

At risk of having all kinds of vets jump all over me for this, I'll put food for thought out here -

I made no progress in my situation while I ignored the hurt and frustration in my husband and while I GALed and Went darkish as he withdrew further. Space was needed, yes. But, after he cooled down, he very quickly moved further and further into emotional divorce land.

You guys have been strangers to each other for a while now. His comments about compatibility, dating others...I just don't know if more of the same is going to change anything for you.

In my case with H's anger and frustration, it was only when we discussed that hurt and frustration after his space - and he felt he was understood, new hope became possible over the emotional connection we started to reestablish. (Granted, I went in with a mission and a dramatic entry into his place he ran to, and maybe that's not appropriate for your sitch, I suspect something a little more lighthearted to start would better suit the sitch...)

I think that if you still want your husband, it may be time to very gently reach for him? Not to persuade him to come back into the relationship - never that -but to connect, seek to understand, show him you accept ...and spark like a big fireworks, you guys did it as kids!

What do you think, Gan? To just flat out ask him to dinner, event, drinks, whatever because you'd like to see him, make it fun, ignite some hope that things could be new? Worst case, he can say is no. Which... Is that any worse than a text that gets ignored at this point?

With <3 for you.