Hi South - I've seen a few debates about this....it's a tricky one for sure.
I think the priorities should be healthy healing from your R breakdown and not hurting someone else because it's too soon for you.
In terms of healing, we all know that an OP can offer some welcome respite from the pain and provide some affirmation of your attractiveness and whatever else. AFter being rejected by our WAS's, that can feel really good. But equally, there are things to learn and we don't want to get swept into a new (rebound?) R and miss out on the learning, otherwise we risk repeating mistakes next time around.
It may be best to be very honest with your friend. I have a great time when we go out, but I can feel myself holding back a little. W and I S in August, but some things aren't yet resolved. It would be great to see you again, but I want to keep things light. I'm not ready to jump into another R right now - even though you're great!
I'm not dating right now (we S in July) and may not be ready for a while. I was asked out a couple months ago, but just said I'm not dating right now. He's a nice guy though, and I wouldn't mind going out for a friendly drink or two maybe. But I'd have to be honest that I may not have much to offer someone right now...
The other big Q is what if your W wanted to reconcile. Would you want to try again with your W?
Thanks for your reply and the last bit is the bit that niggles me in the back of my mind and I think until I'm clear on that then I need to be honest with my friend and Aldo myself .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .