Separation Hell.

[Marylov]

Loli04! SO much of your situation is like mine. My H was in the Marines, although he got out before I met him. But I don't think anyone ever stops being a Marine. Your words below...I could have written them myself!! Our big issue is that is disrespect him. And yes, I could have done things differently, but even he admits that he is easily triggered. I never meant to disrespect him.

And ohh my. your comment about the traffic. I would often be embarrassed by how he lost his temper while driving with someone else in the car. And when we got married, I had just finished my masters degree, and even though he is incredibly intelligent, he didn't go to college and I think he never felt comfortable around some of my “friends”.

I really hope you are able to find happiness with your H again. It sounds like he still is interested in you and especially your D. I think for me the biggest thing is to remember that you still have a choice. You are not helpless. There is strength in standing for your marriage. That doesn’t make you weak, even if you “deserve” better. It makes you a person of character. But standing for your marriage doesn’t mean you have to wait around being miserable. You can choose to use this time to make yourself happy, which is sounds like you are doing! So stay strong!


"He often feels that he's being disrespected by people, and this angers him. I'm sure he often felt I disrespected him and this must have been difficult since he has his own insecurities he deals with.

It didn't occur to me then, that correcting someone when they are factually wrong could be seen as disrespect. Ive always believed that knowledge is power and sharing that comes from a good place, and while he never articulated it, I have a good feeling this is what he felt. However with him it goes beyond that. Traffic would make him angry, people walking slow in front of him, anyone questioning his motives or actions. Even offers of help were viewed as an insult. He did acknowledge during one of our last conversations how angry he feels.

I wish I could say I didn't do it often but I'm sure I did. Our educational backgrounds are very different, and I think that really rubs raw his insecurities about his intelligence. Which is odd because he's actually rather intelligent. But I suppose most of our insecurities are unfounded."