This need not be the end.

[25yearsmlc]

Barry,

I've now been married over 3 decades. If it were all to end tomorrow, I would NOT say "30+ years ALL gone".

I'd say "we had a good run with many years of a loving m, an example of people working at raising & keeping a family together....and succeeding at it for most of that time."

IS it really "all" a failure now, Barry?

I would hope that in time you can see the many victories you have had along the way even if you do not ultimately reconcile.

Not to mention the growth in you since this ordeal began, but seriously the marriage itself. It cannot be a "failure" when it worked well enough, for so many years and brought good citizens into the world.

That'd be like saying an Olympic medal winner is now a loser b/c someone finally broke his record.

IF IF IF it is truly over, you still were happily married and fully loving, for a chunk of time of your life.

Your children know they are loved, and that they are not alone. You're no failure in my book.

And besides, I have 2 family members who divorced, only to remarry their former spouses a few years later (3 years and 5 years). So yes, it happens

Maybe now you can turn the marriage & your pain over to God,

hold your head up and be at peace.