We had my sons school fair last Thursday. She got there late for the assembly, I got there early. I held 3 spots for us (my son was in the program, so it was my W, my D and myself). The place was packed. There were people standing all over the place because it was overbooked. When my wife got there, she found me right away and said "These were the best seats you could get?" then proceeded to give me the cold shoulder. The rest of the night she was a complete jerk to everyone we encountered. Finally at the end of the night she said "Hey, why don't we go out to eat?" After being emotionally drained from her, I said "Yeah, no thanks." Which caught her completely off guard. I followed with "I have other plans tonight actually" and left it at that. She rushed to her car, buckled the kids in and jumped in her drivers seat slamming the door behind her. Meanwhile I gave the kids hugs and walked to my car. The old me would have jumped at the chance to go spend time with her, the new me won't do it.
The next afternoon she called (Friday) to find out who was picking up which kid (she already knew the answer) and was very sweet and pleasant on the phone. We talked about the weekend (my weekend with the kids) and she was going to go out with my cousin (while I watched my cousins daughter) on Saturday. They went out, had some laughs, talked about things (my cousins fiance just got sentenced to 18 years for a crime he committed before they even knew one another). I guess as the night went on, my wife who usually isn't a big drinker kept slamming shots/drinks all night. Where as my cousin said that she could drive them home, but my wife insisted upon doing so. During their conversations though, my wife said "I love him Mandy, but I can't be with him anymore. Our relationship is done! All the changes he is making is just too late." and that it pissed her off that I am now doing all the things (GAL, 180, etc) now as opposed to when this split happened.
Yesterday they both came over to retrieve their kids, we talked about going to church and I said that I had to be there 45 minutes early. When my W inquired as to why, I said "Because I am being baptized today" which made her jaw drop too. She asked if I wanted her and the kids there for it, I said I did so they came. So, I got baptized and after church I said I was going to go home and clean the house. My W then said "NO WAY, let's go celebrate, I am going to take you out to lunch!" so we went to a restaurant and were having a good time. Until I asked her about her job search, she is in a contract that expires at the end of this month. She said it wasn't going well, that she is getting calls but nothing is really coming from it. That she isn't sure what to do, but she will figure it out. She asked me about my new job and I told her it's ok. That I am not really looking forward to the traveling aspect and that I had been recently headhunted by two pharmaceutical companies. This pissed her off, she then said "Yeah, I am done eating, come on kids, we have to leave before Mommy smacks Daddy". She quickly paid the tab and that was that.
This morning she text asking if I had a second, I said give me 10 minutes and then called her back in 20. She wanted to discuss my sons B-Day party at the end of the month. Everything was going fine until she said that I owed her for some bill. I then pointed out that she owed me 150 for her cellphone, 100 from daycare and also 80 for internet/cable. That was not the response she was looking for. So she said "Well, I will get you a check or something. I have to go now." and that was that.
As it sits, she told Mandy (my cousin) that she isn't dating anyone, but she is talking to a few guys. She also said that her and her bestfriend had a falling out (her best friend was a HUGE problem in our marriage, no matter what happened, she would always side with her) and that my W realizes her best friend is/was toxic and not a good person.
I am doing everything I can to move on. I took a cooking class, a dancing class (I always wanted to learn how), doing home improvements around the house, etc. It's just hard detaching when you have kids and have to see one another every day. Any advice?
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
