You've made some real progress. New clothes and jewelry. H noticed! Baby....that's real good to see.
Thanks! Pretty sure when I get around to wearing the new dress (GFs promised me we will do cocktails soon) his eyes will *completely* leave his head.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
I like Zelda's idea. However, hold it off for another time as the timing isn't right to use it because you and H are tentative. Too much, too soon.
Yeah, agreed. I think it might scare him off right now. I think if/when we reach the right state it would be a great plan to get away for a little bit. But don't want to scare the deer off at this stage.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Your H suggested an alternative time for the pizza event. It shows that he was receptive to the idea. You would want to make sure to plan for it after H returns back from his trip.
Making salad! Yeah...make it a fun activity for the pair of you. He asked for your help. He's warming up to you.
You're doing sooooo good, baby.
Thank you!! And yes I'll definitely follow up after he's back. Maybe I missed a trick not setting a day now after he suggested doing next week but I will just follow up when he's back from his trip.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Wow, Fogg. That's quite a story. I hope you are feeling better now, and you were able to speak to a counselor or doctor about your suicidal feelings (are you still having them?).
I didn't see a doctor but my counselor helped once W stopped going and it switched over to individual counseling. Those feeling are long gone, I'm in a much better place and I don't expect them to ever come back. Thanks for asking!
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Hi Susana - good for you with the PMA and leaving H be...enjoy your evening!
Thanks Toots. Not going to lie, I was a little confused why he did the lights and music but Then seemed completely distracted.
I called my grandmother because it was her birthday and I owed her a call. She cracks me up. H seemed to warm up a little after my call but was still pretty glued to the computer. Who knows!
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Asked H if he wanted to join me watching TV so we watched an episode of friends together before bed, also showed him a funny youtube video, so we had a laugh together. He still seemed a little distant. But he completely lit up talking about his project. He was super excited to show me what he'd been working on and very animatedly asked me to come look at his computer and said he wanted me to see it - it was actually really impressive and very cool, so I told him so. He also said again how pretty he thought my new top was. However when he hugged me good night he gave me a much quicker (and less warm) hug than usual. He seemed so hot and cold tonight.
I tried to just centre myself (and focus my attention on myself, like Zelda said). Just need to stay calm and centered, not let anything rock me.
Going to see my GP tomorrow to discuss how the ADs are working. I think I am mainly past the side effects and they seem to be doing fairly well at regulating my mood but I don't know if they're really helping my anxiety (which she said they would) so I'm going to talk to her about that.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
I just remembered - he also brought up the pizza place again while we were making salad, although only a small thing, to ask if I'd read the section of their website on tomatoes, because he'd read it and thought I would enjoy it.
(I just read it, and I do love it - these people are as obsessed with tomatoes as me!)
Last edited by susana4; 03/02/1512:26 AM.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Had this conversation with H this morning before he headed out the door:
Me: The salad you made last night was really nice, did you enjoy making it? H: No. The salad tasted good but I didn't like making it. Me: Oh. (laughing) Well I enjoyed teaching you. H: Oh I had a LOT of fun with you teaching me, I really liked that. But I don't fancy making my own salad dressing again any time soon, that is way too complicated for me.
Lol. Well I could have predicted that - I was pretty shocked when he asked me for the salad-making lesson because he hates cooking (he loves eating my food but doesn't like cooking himself).
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
Had this conversation with H this morning before he headed out the door:
Me: The salad you made last night was really nice, did you enjoy making it?
More fishing/smothering. ^^^
Ok, point taken. I should have stopped myself before the question. The emphasis was more on the first part, I went in just with the intention to give a compliment (one of my 180s is to be less critical and more grateful/complimentary), so I should have stopped after it.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
And yes I'll definitely follow up after he's back. Maybe I missed a trick not setting a day now after he suggested doing next week but I will just follow up when he's back from his trip. 
Well I could have predicted that - I was pretty shocked when he asked me for the salad-making lesson because he hates cooking (he loves eating my food but doesn't like cooking himself).