"Obviously I decided not to come back to the house. I like our friendship best. I don't want to live with you. Sorry it's not what you want."
(Sigh)
This is disappointing but, as Toots pointed out, not surprising.
This text begs a couple of questions which you are free to ask your wife or not ask your wife.
My first question to the sentence, "Obviously I decided not to come back to the house" is:
Was she responding to a question when she sent this text? In other words, did you ask your wife to get her things and move home after you parted the last time you were together?
If not, why was your wife sending a text as if she had been forced to make an immediate decision?
Her text, "Obviously I decided not to come back to the house" implies an immediacy that I don't think you have expressed in any of your posts.
So the question goes to your wife's presumption. Why did she feel the need to reject EVER considering moving home to live with her family when the immediate offer wasn't on the table? It contradicts her next statement:
"I like our friendship best."
Marriage is the ultimate friendship. It is designed to be the one relationship bond we will have until the day we die.
If your wife enjoys your "friendship best" then her goal should be to live with you. Which is why her next sentence, "I don't want to live with you" doesn't gel with the sentence "I like our friendship best."
The more logical sentence structure would be, "We just can't seem to get along. I don't want to live with you."
Her final sentence, "Sorry it's not what you want." Is void of empathy. It is the equivalent of saying, "Bummer to be you."
Let's start with: An empathic person would not have sent this information via text.
Now, if your wife sent this text because she felt a conversation would have caused conflict--this did not relieve her of her obligation to protect your feelings. She should have begun the text with an apology and acknowledgement that the text was going to cause you distress.
Maybe the content was accurate but the way it was delivered was insensitive.
So, this brings me to a question:
What do you want to do about her behavior?
By this I mean, you do not have to acknowledge the content of her text.
But, you might want to take a strong look at how she lashes out and how you respond. We have discussed what text messaging should be used for and what text messaging should not be used for.
If you do not believe this was a topic for a text message then you should draw a boundary.
Perhaps an appropriate response might be, "This is not an appropriate topic for a text message."
