I think you need to pick some boundaries to enforce with your W and stick with them. If you waiver, even on the smallest thing or change you have made, you are back at square one.
Most women want a Man - someone that is independent and probably wouldn't put up with any of the crap she's throwing at you.
I think you and W need to have a business like interaction of a plan regarding a set schedule for who has the kids when - and then you can really focus on yourself, your kids and GAL. You sound very thrown based on your interactions with your W (i know it's hard I have been there and wished i would have followed this advice sooner). I really think you'll feel better once you stopped getting pulled into her behavior whether it be good or bad.
And.. Remember even if she's noce or waives or whatever --- she may have just been texting OM. Yes be nice to her but treat her like a friendly neighbor. She doesn't get to cake eat.
I'm not a vet so hopefully others will chime in to help you out I just can tell by some of your posts that your W is walking all over you right now.
