I agree with what Clair said. You want to be sure to draw boundaries and hold your ex accountable that's true. You always though want to do that with what is best for the kids.
When my kids were young they were able to see both parents on their birthdays. We did this for the kids sake even if we weren't getting along. Now that the kids are adults there are times when we will have joint family celebrations. I can tell you that my kids ( now adults) have said it means a lot to them to know that they can enjoy both parents without guilt.
My eldest son recently turned 32. I was having a family dinner with just my side. ( his dad had made plans with him for a boys night out) My sons paternal Grandmother lives closer to me. My Son asked if it was ok for him to invite her for dinner. I said of course and she was here for dinner on his Birthday. We are all family and will be connected through our children and grandchild for the rest of our lives. How we chose to handle ourselves is up to us.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
