She was supposed to go to dr. today to talk about results of the high platelette count. I am worried about her health and the way she drinks 7 days a week I fear for her long term health. I know it shouldn't be my concern as it's her life but I still feel responsibility and dedication to take care of her..although I no longer can and have been laid off from that job...got the dreaded pink slip if you will.
Of course you are concerned about her health. She is the love of your life, and will always be the mother of your children. I hope you can continue to care about her welfare, b/c if you get to place you are totally unconcerned, I don't think that is healthy for you.
I know this must cause you to feel so helpless. We can experience this even when our S lives with us and there are no M problems. I have had to live with that myself with my grown child and my H. We have no control over how they choose to address their health issues. We can try to encourage or even get upset with them, but at the end of the day, it's up to them.
You still feel a responsibility to her b/c that is part of the H's role, right? You protect, provide, love, and take care of her. She has chosen to remove herself from under that umbrella she had in the MR with you. It will take time before you stop feeling it as part of your job as her H. Make sense?
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Last night we had a message exchange. She said she lives day to day with no expectations. She said she will always love me. How does one tell you they will always love you, yet make it clear you are done and have OM EA/PA in their life?
It goes back to that connection you had together while you were M and raising a family. She doesn't feel "in love" with you, but she loves you like a dear relative. Sorry, I know that isn't what you want to hear, but that's what she means. Her "love" for you is not enough to draw her back into a life with you. She is making a conscious decision to make a new life independent from a life shared with you.
And a whole lot of what she says is simply script.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
