Hi VDubber - I know that temptation to skip ahead....but don't get caught up in thinking....if only she were this or that. You are partly responsible for the demise of your M and the rest of the book may really help with that...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus