Seperated, she is with someone - I'm desperate (2)

[vdubber]

Out to breakfast with kids. Gonna do my best to stay busy today. Did too much thinking last night. I did read some more DR this morning...found myself cheating and reading ahead to the MLC/WAW chapter. It is difficult to accept she as I knew her is gone but it's absolutely true that the woman I see now is nothing like the woman I married and knew for the first 23 or so years of our relationship. I still wonder if she will ever return to her or more like who she was. If not I suspect she will have a tough life the way she is choosing to live it the past couple years.

I find myself wondering how it's possible to ever imagine yourself in a relationship again. I don't want one now, just miss the companionship and affection but this is my life right now. I truly can't imagine ever knowing someone the way I knew her. We grew up together, we knew everything about each other. I was hers and she was mine, we were one before our time. I understand the need for us to become individuals but struggle that she couldn't see a way to do that in our M. I believe you become like those you hang out with. Your beliefs, your values...hers certainly changed in this regard. After all, who wants a H when all your new bar friends are single and care free. I do also believe your choices in life have a way of catching up to you.

Ok that's my morning rant. As you can see I'm still somewhat angry and hope that subsides.