So, spoke with Coach yesterday, who basically said I was on right track but needed to work on detaching and setting boundaries.
Well, was eager to start implementing same over weekend . . . But today went rather rough. After W contradicted/undermined me last night, she wakes up and says she needed to go out for about 3 hours to get her hair done and then work for about an hour (all on about 2 hours notice). I ask her to provide greater notice in the future.
A few minutes after that I ask W if she can monitor D1.5 who is in other rooms playing to make sure she is not putting the tiny pieces of toys strewn about in her mouth, while I grab a bite to eat. W ignores my asking this Q three times - she was perusing a magazine. W then goes upstairs still not checking in on D1.5. I confront her on whether she understands that it is a serious safety issue to leave D1.5 unattended (she knows this as she has told my mother to always stay on top of her). W tells me I have OCD and then puts her fingers in ears as not to hear me (which she did last night too). After thinking about it for a while and the way she undermines me with the kids I tell her that I cannot be expected to change my schedule and watch all three kids for hours on end so she can go to the salon when she treats me with such disrespect. I also told her last night (and repeated this morning), that I cannot effectively watch kids due to her undermining. Of course she gets livid. Allegedly contacts babysitter (like we can afford that on top of salon cost). I went outside. I was putting around outside thinking about whether I shoud take off somewhere, but then was concerned that I was using kids as proxy war - wanted to stick to boundary but did not think it was right to be fighting oger kids, plus I like spending time with them. So, I was in my car contemplating when W calls and says AP will watch th kids for her - I said something appropriate for her comment then drove off but ended up turning back around. I walk in house and W is there, says she is not going to salon, but will take kids out somewhere where a real dad will be. I let a number of expletives fly and reiterated my boundary re no contact between kids and AP. She said she was just "joking" - had meant babysitter, not AP. Nice, huh. So, W slithers out (gives kids $5 ea to stop hanging on here car and go inside for her to leave them) and disappears for about 5 hours. Said she was going to work at a facility in a particular town. I was nearby at one point, did a drive by and no W. Not surprising. Good reminder. I had great time with all three kids. The hell with her. Tonight S5 & D7 went to granny's. W, me and D1.5 at home. Tried to detach. Was actually thinking about heading out (still on the wagon though, which I like, so thought better not). Cordial talk with W. Read her article highlights re adverse effects of undermining, No word re AP or D or leaving. That said, I suppose there is some reason why this is not in the fore now. Won't jump to conclusions, just try to use this gift of time (although having her experience ewhat life without me (and kids) would probably be good thing). Tomorrow is a brand new day.
P.s. Are you suggesting that we not sleep in same bed (even though no sexy time)? Or do you mean sleeping with her (as in sexy time ) blows your mind?
