OK, let me journal before I fall asleep. I will tackle the tough thinking q's tomorrow. I had a wonderful day with d18 (visiting for the week) and d17. S13 is spending the weekend with W (she begged me to come pick him up, I refused. I have such little time my daughters, I didn't want anything to take away from them).
So we visited together at my parents for a nice, peaceful visit. When my kids got hungry I took them out to a wing joint. We talked about politics, religions, gay rights (2 of her roommates caused the issue to be brought up), etc. and I wasn't preachy or obnoxious as I have been in the past. I let d18 share her new burgeoning liberal viewpoint without judgment. Amazingly, there were no tense moments. It was more fun discussion similar to last Monday's dinner.
D18 and d17 had some interesting thoughts about W, where I just listened. Some of it was icky, but I just kept quiet. D18 commented how good I was looking (lost weight), and I shared with them both some of the work I was doing on myself. D18 (a future psychologist) was impressed.
I also did share my thoughts with them that I was "committed" to honoring my marriage vows, even though W is not. And that I was working on myself so that I was healthier for my next relationship. D18 was really encouraging, while d17 was quiet.
Finally, I suggested d18 stay an extra week so she could attend her grandmother's funeral which is next Saturday. I called the airlines, and figured out how much extra it would cost. Then I sat down and talked with her about it. D18 was uneasy, and wouldn't tell me why she didn't want to stay. And in great lawyer-like fashion, I made her explain by going thru each issue, one-by-one and peeled away her reasons. The extra cost? I'll cover it. No clothes, d17 told her just wash the clothes she has here. Missing her friends - they will still be there in a week.
So d18 left it with me that she had to speak with W first. I didn't get it. But this had to be done face-to-face, instead of by phone. So I gave the daughters hugs, and told them to let me know what the decision was. I'm betting she goes back to Boston on tomorrow's flight.
