Absolutely RD - there are some great guys on here, I agree...
Well, a nice GAL day for me at a calligraphy workshop - nice people and some good laughs trying to write letters with a brush, which was pretty hard.
Started re-reading DR tonight. Since H didn't respond to my email (and I also saw the L) I've been feeling a bit more negative about our sitch. Feel I need a shot of MWD to pep me up again. I'm sure I'll hear from H at some point, and there's no great rush. I guess I just thought the momentum may have started, and maybe it hasn't.
I never like seeing the L (tho she's good, it's useful and needed). But, it always moves my mind on to 'ending' and I find that hard. Also, I've been feeling a bit less sure about whether our M is worth saving. But anything I read would put it firmly in the category of 'save it.' I guess it's probably just a little phase..or maybe detachment...?
The other day, I wondered how I will deal with this dichotomy of wanting to progress with separating the financials - and telling H I don't want to D. I'll have to think about how I handle telling him that at some point.
For a while now, I have never told him I still want to save our M. Not since September I think. He now thinks I have a 'new life' here and wishes me the best. At what point do I say again that I don't want our M and R to end? Is there a risk I'll undo all my good work by saying it or if I don't, a risk that he thinks he needs to let me go now I have a 'life of my own?'
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
