Why don't you think time is a huge factor - MWD cites time, practice (apply techniques etc) and patience as 'the big three.' And I know this because I'm re-reading DR as we speak, and I just read that!!

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus