Complex No. 6 - The turtle and the rabbit

[25yearsmlc]

Wife gone over the weekend skiing with her friend (I know it's not OM, I actually have high doubts they are talkinv very much, they def still don't meet outside of work).

I look forward to when your posts (and thoughts) are NOT about HER or who SHE is with or how SHE feels, b/c that will be a sign of progress in detaching, which you must do.


I'll have coworkers over tonight for a wine tasting! Funnnn


^^^Good idea!


Working a lot at the office and working out a lot too. Stupid Prozac tho still feels like a bit of a rollercoaster ride. In the morning it feels like the last dose "wore off" am I feel horrible. Once I eat breakfast pop the next pill and leave the house I feel good^^

It sounds as if time will help. If not, let the doc know. I took Paxil when my dad died and I wasn't "snapping out" of my grief. I swear I noticed a difference within a few days. Less circular "what if??" went on in my head.

Then 2 weeks after I started, I found myself tapping the steering wheel on the way to work, to a song on the radio. That's when I realized, "wow, I am getting better"



I'm still thinking about her dad. Is this a normal reaction of family that they are humongously devastated and disappointed due to their high moral values?


Is it "normal? I think it's mind reading AND expectations and hope on YOUR Part, that at some point it will effect your w. (Which is you wanting to manage the outcome).

That's my take on it. Assuming it's ALL about his "high moral values" also gets to make you feel more victimized and demonizes her. Maybe her dad loves you and fears losing you...

As far as you know, your wife has not had a PA (yes, there are those who doubt this, but for now, let's just say that she has admitted to feelings for OM)

and what you KNOW is that she wants out of the m b/c SHE feels you let her down in several ways.

(Once upon a time, you admitted this as well).

Til you accept that this is ^^ HER Perception, which is HER reality, you'll keep going in circles. How does that help you move forward?


Did anyone experience this and how turned this out later in the sitch?

Here, ^^ You are attaching HOPES/EXPECTATIONS to your perception of her father's emotions and your belief that the reasons are his "high moral values"?

Can you see how you having expectations has NOT helped you move at all?

It keeps you stuck.

In the end they all love her again I suppose, if they had a good relationship in the first place.
Lot of family scenarios how it can develop but I guess not really my concern, although it feels very good for my ego that I have their support and love.

Then just leave it at ^^ that. They care for you. No matter what, that's a good thing.

It's also interesting how I actually learned how to love my W in this sitch. It's weird. Detavhing and loving more at the same time, is that possible?

Everyone have a nice weekend!

You too!