W still having affair with OP #2

[4mendmj]

Was re-reading DR...first few chapters. Had a pen and paper out. Struggling so much with even writing small goals. Because the affair is still ongoing and spouse is gone literally 90% of the time, and believe nothing they say and less than 50% of what they do...what kind of goals can I even write down? I literally only have one currently. IT would be if W stayed home for an evening when I know she could have had plans and not just staying home out of lack of something better to do. But frankly, not only has that not happened in forever but it isn't even a small goal. It would be a monster step! It would be like the gates are opening and she was days away from stopping the affair.

I read somewhere else this morning something that truly stuck me..."See in an affair, you build in little habits to keep connected when you don't see the person. To keep it alive."

This is beyond true. W leaves every morning and they get coffee together. OW texts W every evening when W gets home from work to "make sure" there were no surprises waiting for W as I had tried an intervention and surprised her with "some big revelation/begging/pleading" a time or 3 a few months ago...so they literally have built in this checking on each other fail safe plan. WAW is literally consumed with this affair. I know each sitch is different but can I have some examples of small goals? I feel like I am working my tail off to DB yet I completely think I am missing something.

Already quit doing laundry and housework for her, money talk is coming up this week...I keep waiting but tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of BD from original discovery of EA...this has gone on a long time!