Confused

[Joe46]

I really feel like I don't know who this person is that I am living with. She is not the same person I knew. Sometimes I see that old person come back, but it is only for awhile. It is amazing how she can be her old self all day yesterday and than when we get home and she rushes to her job, she changes back to this other woman. I have been praying alot for her lately. A couple weeks ago I saw she had a bible sitting on the table in her room. I thought maybe it was just something she found and had not put it away yet. But I have seen it out and moved in different spots almost like she was reading it some. I began to wonder if she might be dealing with some sort of guilt, and maybe was trying to find comfort in reading it.

It may sound bad, but if we did not have kids together, I would have told her to leave a long time ago. I do care for her, but a person can be lied to and taken for granted for only so long. I know that is one thing she said I made her feel like. I admit I probably did sometimes. But I never intentionally tried to hurt her. And no matter what our differences, I never stopped loving her. I never started sleeping in a separate room and never started looking for love elsewhere. I talked to her and tried to work it out. Sometimes I tried to make her see my point of view instead of seeing hers, and that is my fault and something I intend to change. But I never cut her off emotionally or physically.