So I think I have been doing well with this situation for the last months, and when I do have a LBS break down I bounce back VERY quickly.
I'm a person that likes to know the WHY by nature, I like to make decisions and move on, I'm also a little control freak.
All these things I'm working on DB is helping me not just in how I interact with my MLC but helping me in all aspects of my life, my journey to be a better person is my focus and it is improving all areas of my life all my important relationships with my son, my mom, my H and my friends.
Like all the LBS's here on this board I have no idea if my M will be saved, I do know I will be better, and my R with my H will be better. It may not be the R of a husband and wife but it will remain friends and great co-parents.
Today I had to change my outlook this morning "never let them see you sweat" I struggle sometimes on the weekends when H and I are home together for several hours before he goes to work (same stuggle on his off days after I get home from work)
Today I wanted to ask H "have you made up your mind" do you want this M or not, do you want to do a trail separation, do you want to go to MC, DO YOU LOVE ME like a husband loves his wife" I wanted to tell him my needs "I want to be called and told you miss me or is thinking about me" I want romance, I want dates, I want you to put your dam wedding ring back on"
I would have love to wake up to a loving H who wanted to snuggle or tell me he loves me or we go out for breakfast etc...
So since that is not happening and I did not want to get in that "debbie downer" woe is me attitude..I got up took a shower, used some great smelling shower gel, put on pretty PJ's, lipgloss (that is my girl power juice), light a wonderful scented candle and this is how I am started my day.
My mood changed and I'm ready to face this wonderful day that the LORD has given me another chance to be better and enjoy life.
I noticed H peeking out of the covers at me while I was getting ready. He looks at me sometimes like he is a scared little confused boy, its really sad sometimes.
I have put my ring back on for the most part cause who I'm I fooling I'm a married woman. BUT for my own reasons when Im out with H I do NOT wear my ring.
I have tons of GAL's planned for next month my bday month, and since I LOVE ME, I'm treating myself each weekend.
My GAL's for next month Mani/Pedi Wine and Painting Party Midnight Bowling (will invite H to midnight bowling, other H's will be there) Shopping Day out Hair Apts (this is a treat each month) Lunch or Dinner with each outing Breakfast at my Fav breakfast dinner on my Bday Pastoral Counseling sessions
