Wife left me three weeks ago!

[alpha99]

Thank you both for the advice. I had read in LRT not to get the support of her family members. I had stopped texting them in that regard from last week. It was her father making a genuine enquiry about how I was doing that prompted me to speak. It was a 30 second conversation. As I recall I don't think I put W down, I said I knew things were my fault and I hoped over time she woukd reconsider. Her father is a deacon, a step below a priest I believe. He is all for marriage but also a very hen pecked person and W has little respect for him and his opinions. I get the feeling that he sees that reconciliation may be the best option forball involved but like myself he is powerless to do much about that, and as per his nature will ultimately tow the line with what his wife, my wife decide. Such a shame. As per your advice I won't be trying to illicit support from her parents anymore. I did text father in law when I got back hole yesterday just to say W had the idea that since I dressed smartly recent days, stopped crying etc that I was over her, had moved on, had a plan to launch legal proceedings and take the kids. In fact, my wife said yesterday that she was weary of me taking the kids for a day out.over the weekend in case indidnt bring them back. I just explained via text to her father how daft all that was, how I'm just trying to.do what's right in a difficult situation. From his attitude in their house I feel he understands where I'm.coming from.

I may be wrong, and I did say I'm not asking you to tell wife this, but my hope in speaking/texting was not to get them onside in some campaign to get her back but rather have them understand where I'm coming from in the hope that gets transmitted to W somehow and it stops the rot. As I've said before she sees being nice to her as me having an agenda and is waiting forbme to 'stab her in the back. If we could move from this point to one where she sees niceness for just that then that would be a big step. I know time and patience are required, and now I've spoke to father in law roughly.about this (not so directly as here) I won't be mentioning this topic to him again.

Thank you all so much for your support and advice, it's been so good.