Masterpiece still in progress...

[Jer2911]

Okay -- just having a moment that I'm obviously going to have to bring up in my next IC session... need to just write it out here in case any of you have had similar experience/issue and have any good advice...

I was over on the The Hearts Blessing blog reading through a ton of articles. I got to the article about emotional triggers -- which I initially thought might be about triggers from the MLC or the A/OW... But as I read it my mind started drifting strongly to one of the biggest communication issues between my W and I.

Here is the issue...

My W complains that she doesn't know how to talk to me about issues or things that upset her because when she has done so in the past I would start crying, and when she's tried to get me to explain why I'm crying I often told her that I felt like she was criticizing me. I do realize that she wasn't really criticizing me -- just trying to tell me what she needed from me. So I started thinking about that a lot more and have just realized that of course I always started crying because there was an emotional trigger going on within me... And now -- just tonight -- I seem to have some sort of clarity around this that I've NEVER had before and I think it has to do with something related to my dad and my relationship with him.

Background -- my parents are divorced and because of some of the aspects of their relationship over the years, my dad and I grew distant in my teens and didn't really begin to bridge that gap until within the past 10 years (once my W and I had kids). My dad is an adult child of an alcoholic and is completely out of touch with his emotional side because of this. My mom and I also realize now that he is probably a lifelong MLCer. So he and I can talk about practical things and the weather, but there is no real talk about emotional topics with my dad.

And now I've just got a very strong sense that the emotional trigger is tied somehow to my dad... But I can't quite figure out the specifics about that right at this moment tonight... I can only just say that tonight I am seeing/sensing the connection in my head finally.

So -- obviously I probably need to bring this up with my C next week in my IC session... not sure what else I need to do to figure this out other than just journal it and let the idea marinate for a bit.

Thoughts?