Mozza (10) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

I like it but I'm not in a place where you should rely on my opinion.

Haha! This made me giggle. I called my parents and they think the same thing. In fact, a lot of people around me wish that I'd send her a few more truth darts.

I certainly understand that this makes you sad, as I feel that way every other week when I cannot see her. Unfortunately, it's too late to alter our plans at this late date, but we can talk about the kids birthdays in the future. It is still fairly recent since you initiated this separation, so it's to be expected that these misunderstandings will come up.

Thanks raliced. I like the first part, the validation. I need to add that. But I don't want to say that I will be more accommodating. To me, this situation is just a normal and minor casualty of the S.

I am already very accommodating. I've made schedule changes because her father could only come around Easter. I accepted to switch weeks in July because she's attending a wedding in OM's family in one of the most beautiful place on Earth and will then take the kids to the beach for the first time. This was one of our longstanding plans — even though she said at BD that we had no future plans. This holiday of theirs freaking breaks my heart: he will get to have her and MY kids with him at this joyous event. She will meet his friends and family. I had built this life, brick by brick, through sleepless nights, career sacrifices, forgiving an A, love and understanding. Yet, she takes it away and gives it to someone new, overnight. Also, in 2008, when D6 was 5 months old, we went to a wedding near that region and it was an important moment in our lives, something I look back to as a reason why we had a beautiful M. We have beautiful family pictures from that. Now, she's living it with someone else, telling me "I can't look back, only forward." EFF YOU SEE KEY! And I've said NOTHING of my pain to her, just "Sure, we can rearrange the schedule. I'm sure the kids will love the beach."

What do you want to achieve from the email, Mozza? To me, it smells like jackal (in reference to NVC - it's likely to trigger defensiveness in her and I'm not sure that is your aim). I much prefer Raliced's approach.

Good question. I was asking myself the same question, but I don't have an answer. What do truth darts achieve? I guess to me is to let her face the consequences of her choice to S. I can't always be the one to rearrange my stuff around for her. I already do a lot. Also, the hope that she will be careful in the future not to guilt-trip me at the slightest opportunity. And well, maybe I want her to see things from my end? I guess I'm unlikely to achieve that, given what we know about WAWs.

Thanks for the advice, keep them coming. About 15 minutes to go!