Did it all. W continued to claim I was controlling her. I just kept telling her that they are my boundaries. She asked what my definition of boundaries was: "Things and actions that go against my morals and values that I cannot accept happening for me to be happy." Thought about that one for a little while.
She claimed "I cannot help where my heart went." I said "I know, I cannot either."
She said: "I thought we would be able to work things out amicably?" I said, "That cannot really happen if my boundaries are continually being disrespected."
She claimed I was kicking her out. I said "I can see it feeling that way. I am giving you a choice, it is your decision." She was definitely getting emotional while she was packing her bags. Her choice, her consequences. I showed none. She asked what are we going to do with our S3. I said "This is his home." She asked where he was going to be tonight (my mothers or home). I told her I would let her know, as she really wants to see him. Said that is fine. I will let you know and you can come over. I cannot keep her from our S3. That is something I believe every child should have.
I assume she is going over to his place. She may tell him some things. He will likely manipulate all of this as me being some evil POS, as that is what he has always been doing, I assume. AA is all sorts of continual reinforcement of negative feelings. Annoying.
One thing W often mentioned in her meetings, apparently, was that she was glad she had hit rock bottom and was on her way back up, apparently citing that she had found someone else (AA strongly suggests not working with a member of the opposite sex given the nature of the program and how open you are to be with everyone). After sharing these things in the meetings, she was told by many of the older attendees "not yet..." with respect to having an affair and hitting rock bottom again. I definitely do not want her to do that, but her decisions, she knows the consequences. She always told me that I have to do things for myself, make sure I am happy before making others happy. OK then.
Not like I was the one enduring her chemical dependence issues, trying to get her to get help, trying to get her to get therapy, trying to do things better for myself. Trying to make her happy overall. Trying to make all of this work out, trying to make our lives better. If she does not want to see those things, or be blinded by everything this guy says, then that is fine. I was not the one who had an affair through all of this. I cannot change change the way she feels or thinks.
See how long this lasts. Not expecting anything. Not sure if she will bring OM over or not at some point, or if he will come over on his own. Pretty sure I can send him away. If he wants to talk, I can tell him a few things, maybe teach him about boundaries and consequences for decisions. Likely will not listen. Though he has made many poor decisions in his life. Maybe I can bring some of those up....or have tact and take the high road. We will see.
