W still having affair with OP #2

[4mendmj]

I am truly scared. Nothing has changed in sitch in the last # of days but I know/feel the change inside me...the acceptance that I am going to have to separate finances just seems so huge to me. This is either the beginning of the end or the beginning of a new chapter for us in our marriage. I get that it needs to happen, I have already started putting the action steps in place but I am scared.

Slept like a baby last night. I notice when I do these big things for me that my mind spins more during the day but I sleep better at night. Like at night my brain knows what I am doing is right but during the day my heart hurts because it is soooo scared. IDK. I am DBing. To the literal best of my ability. I have seen literally zero improvement in weeks but unlike "once the spouse comes back" right now it appears all I can do is work on myself because anything she would say or mostly do would be fake to keep my plate spinning anyway. She hardly speaks to me about 90% of the time like we are cordial roomates and then out of the clear blue we have some killer conversation like it was years ago. Biggest change in the last few weeks when those happen is I don't acknowledge them any longer (chasing) with something like "that felt nice" or "it was soooo great to talk to you". I instead just appreciate it for what it is and move on with my day like I would a neighbor and not a spouse. I hurt, I ache, I miss my wife yet she is right in front of me.

D6 told me this morning she hoped she didn't have to go to workout classes with W this weekend...(OW is gym owner, W goes to all the classes, W drags D6 along wherever W and OW are going) during the every other weekend I work and D6 is catching on that D6 is just along for the ride. I literally am starting to cry just thinking about it right now because even my own daughter is sick of this. I can't tell D6 to say something to mommy because what would come out of D6's mouth is "Daddy told me to tell you I don't want to go to workout class" so I just validate D6's feelings and remind her of all the fun D6 and I have when we are together and ask her about what she would like to do next... I ache today. I am stronger than I have been in years, I am DBing my rear end off at home...I have not screwed up in weeks but GOD I ache today.