Ok.... lots to read and right now just not enough time BUT.. If wife is using phone you pay for to conduct her affair I would do this
Tell her "using the phone I pay for to communicate with OM is disrespectful to me, you can either stop all communication with him using this phone or I will turn the service off and you can go buy your own" then give her a few minutes to decide and then follow through. If she says no contact using phone then just put key stroke logger on to verify (without her knowledge) and go from there. If she says your controlling tell her "I am not controlling you, I am controlling where the money goes that I work hard for and that is ment to support our family."
