Mozza (10) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

I'm glad that the previous thread covered over three weeks. It's one of the longest and a sign that things are getting a little better, that there is less frenzy in my life. I also notice that I'm about to reach 1000 posts which is way too many for a non-vet, but also that since I have 9 completed threads on my sitch (900+ posts), it means I give back as much as I receive, which is important to a Nice Guy like me .

This morning, I have feelings of desperation at the destruction heaped on four generations (from my parents to my grandkids) because of the S. I'm baffled that so little was done to spare everyone this ordeal. My wedding vows keep spinning in my head. I even imagine myself reciting them in front of my WAW before signing the D papers on top of a pile of family photo albums. I should write sappy movies. I think it has to do with the fact that I just dropped the kids to daycare and won't see them for a week. I never wanted that. They were so sweet, telling me they wanted to stay with m. D6 is a people pleaser, so I'm never sure if she truly means it, but for D3 it was a first. D6 noticed I was sad and I told her it was about spending my week without them. D3 asked me if I was "on break" while they are with their mom and I said no, it's not a break, it's just a week without them and I prefer to be with them.

Detachment report | The reduced communication with WAW is having a positive impact. The crisis of last Thursday, where I saw her for 2 minutes, reminded me of how much progress I've made. I still cry everyday, but I'm more numb than I was a couple of months ago. At some point, I was able to talk about other topics, but now I've reached the point where I'd rather not discus the sitch. I've had some communications and decisions to make with WAW and I don't even report them here. It's just business as usual.

GAL Report | Not much to report other than nursing colds all week. D3 had it, then D6 and me. We canceled a biweekly visit of some friends because of that, but we followed the rest of our rituals: stroboscope dancing, candlelight dinner, 7-minute workout, etc. Now my week alone starts and I don't have plans. I think I'll watch a few episodes of House of Cards tonight...

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Vanilla | This is a very beautiful post. Thanks for this.

Karma12 | Thanks for your insights. My WAW admired me much, but then it became too much of a master/student relationship and I guess she wanted either to be in charge or at least an equal. She found someone 5 years younger than her, rather than 5 years older. I'd be curious to know what she's learning about herself and relationships through this.

Barry | Thanks a lot for stopping by. I was glad to see you pop up in other sitches. As 25yearsmlc said, sometimes it's just about showing empathy when you just arrived. I'm also glad the posts and book recommendations were useful. I see a change in you and will comment further on your threads at some point.

mahhhty | I'm very happy if you can benefit from it! The Stockdale paradox is an inspiration for me too, a way to just shut up and execute. I think these boards could use a sort of wiki space where we would update the success stories, resources, etc. But the technology doesn't seem to be there. (BTW, have you ever explained your strange nickname??)