Wife left me three weeks ago!

[alpha99]

Wife called asking about kids going into school despite me already texting her to say they were fine. She was asking where I was, if I had an appointment, generally what I was up to. She is very suspicious of me.
Been out for a bit, came home, mail was there for wife with solicitors name on the front. I called her to ask why she had been in touch. She said it was from weeks ago when is said she wouldn't see kids and I'd made recordings of her telling lies and threatening me. I said I had no intention of going to a solicitor. She asked why not if we are separated. I explain that I took our marriage vows seriously despite the current situation. She said we are separated and we coukdnt stay married forever if we met other people. I said I had no intention of doing that. She said, you say that but...'. She said she had no intention of meeting other people either...whether that is true as time goes on who knows. I feel I can't make progress being nice to her if being nice is perceived by her as a strategy of mine to get her onside before launching legal proceedings. I mentioned the detrimental effect of divorce on children. I said I didn't want to discuss our relationship because we know where we stand but who knows what the future holds. Regarding the marriage vows and lifelong commitment bit, she said that was before you treated me like [censored] and threw a plate at me. She appears to have a very selective memory at the moment, blinded by anger and suspicion. I don't think its going to be possible to stop her moving to rented accomodstion as things stand. She is very defensive over the children, accuses me of being too calm, is suspicious of me, and all of this is hindering progress.