Yes it surely does take some time. If it helps you at all while I'm the lbs here I was also the one emotionally and physically distanced by w for years in our marriage. To a large extent that and my tendency to depression led to the issues w cites as the reason shed had enough. I've had to work on those and the after effects of bd in and out of counselling so I know exactly what you mean about time, obviously not your sitch though and I'd never dream of comparing, you had a tougher time no questions there.
If you have things to vent or talk about that you're comfortable with discussing here, you know where we all are.
Edz
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015