Sometimes when I read around threads I come across something that wasn't meant for my situation but really just clicks with me (nothing new for any of us in that)
Anyway I read this on RPP's thread
Originally Posted By: underdog
I think we all get conditioned that feeling joy is frivolous and entitled. I don't know if I was ever encouraged to find joy. I don't think my parents were encouraged either, so they didn't convey it to me. I think we're all more attuned to it now, though. I wouldn't consider myself a joyful person before this journey. I lived for the next fix. The next family vacation. I lived in an imaginary place where the motto was, "When XXX happens, I'll be happy(ier)." It was an illusion. Because being happy is committing oneself to staying in that state. Choosing happiness. For me, it all starts with a grateful heart. Once I get myself to a place of thankfulness, I feel joy.
I most definitely lived there but in a far off way while also abdicating some of my responsibility for making things better now.
My wife, I believe, lived/lives in a similar place but darker in how unhappy things made her.
To me this is such a good reminder to choose to be happy and positive and not invest so much of my happiness into external things and other people
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
