Gogofo - Learning to go dark

[gogofo]

The next step is to move out this weekend after I sign the papers tomorrow. Living in my own place will help me detach.

I don't want to let go of her, and it hurts. If I don't let go of her then I will just be hurting myself. The only way to get through this is by accepting reality and dropping the rope.

I am going to struggle.

I will not be trying to force interactions with us at kid swap times. I will not be sending text messages. I will try to keep any interaction short and sweet.

She has never once felt like she could lose me through this whole situation, and that is a big mistake. He11, she has divorced me and she still hasn't lost me.

I need to cry, hard, and work through the pain from betrayal and being lied to that I feel now.

I need to accept that she would rather run off with this fantasy R with OM that does not include the day to day life activities. The weekend of March 13th will be hard because they will be out of town together and I don't want my mind to wander to what they may be doing.

I will need some serious GAL that weekend, and before.

A big part of me feels like I need the whole story and truth from her to move on. I don't know why. Probably because I think it will be another chance to change things.