So I am divorced.

[mahhhty]

Had another good session with the IC today. We have been spreading out our sessions as I feel myself coming into my own. Today we talked about my anger. And he asked whether it is anger or disappointment. And I'd have to say it's disappointment not anger. The emptiness or hole that exists causes me to be in a bad mood. Regardless, that is part of this, and I have to keep marching through it.

We also talked about the pre-wedding homework, and the fact I identified myself as short tempered and she identified herself as passive aggressive. He believes it makes a lot of sense, knowing what we know now. It was an incredible piece of foreshadowing. He asked if I know what she is doing now. And I don't. I have not a clue. I hope she is working through her situation. I wish I could help in someway, but I know I should not and honestly I can't (as we have little interaction).

At the end, we did discuss me asking her out to lunch. That was an interesting conversation. He believes it will be a good opportunity to connect with her and try to work on developing our new co-parenting relationship. It will also give me face time with her to improve our situation. The thought of it was a difficult one. I'm not sure I am ready for this kind of interaction. I have learned a lot but don't have a ton of practice implementing the techniques (validation, de-escalating conflict, etc). I would hate to have a negative interaction. But it would give us a chance to discuss how we want to handle certain situations, the ability to express thanks (for situations like the other day with the late phone call), and get on the same page about the kids. It does have merit, but I'm still a little raw.